Culture Shock:Chronic Disease of Expatriation and Personal Growth

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous".

Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), Sex and the City.

(My first raw herring, a Dutch delicacy, circa Fall 2006 visit)

Arguably one of the most poignant challenges one may face as an expat in a foreign country (like the Netherlands) is "culture shock". Hailing from the San Francisco Bay Area bubble, constant exposure to multiculturalism and being multilingual,  I assumed that my expatriation to the Netherlands would not become a disability. I soon learned that none of that mattered.

Perhaps the best analogy in describing my Dutched reality is to try imagine being a deaf kid at a disco. You know that there is a wonderful party going on, full of exciting opportunities and facets to celebrate life.   The only problem is that you can't hear or listen to the music going on around you.  You are unable to demonstrate or speak in the language to save your life. And if you are managing to learn the language,  talking about the weather can only get you so far.  After a while, you develop an insatiable hunger for deep, meaningful, interesting conversations that fail to materialize. Sometimes, more often than not, you feel alienated, alone, depressed and homesick.  Almost everything it seems is lost in translation.

Anthropologist Kalervo Oberg (1960) coined the term culture shock, referring to the phenomenon as the “anxiety that results from losing all of our familiar signs and symbols of social intercourse”.

Oberg (1960) mentions six components of culture shock:

(1) Strain due to the effort required to make necessary psychological adjustments.
(2) A sense of loss and feelings of deprivation in regard to friends, status, profession and possessions.
(3) Being rejected by and/or rejecting members of the new culture.
(4) Confusion in role, role expectations, values, feelings and self-identity.
(5) Surprise, anxiety, even disgust and indignation after becoming aware of cultural differences.
(6) Feelings of impotence due to not being able to cope with the new environment.

Compelling psychological evidence and research since Oberg have unanimously recognized culture shock as a normal process of adjustment to cultural stress, involving symptoms such as (Furnham, 1993):

• anxiety (behavior such as excessive preoccupation with the food, minor pains, excessive fears of being cheated or robbed, fits of anger toward or avoidance of local people and the desire to be with home nationals)
• helplessness
• irritability
• longing for a more predictable and gratifying environment

Culture shock has been part of my near everyday Dutched reality.  There are definitely moments when I feel that I am beginning to acclimate to the culture and have a more positive outlook in embracing life in the Netherlands.   I  have settled on an uneasy peace with my own perceptions of Dutch thrift, directness and rudeness permeate deep into the fabric of Dutch society. I also understand an invitation to any stereotypical Dutch party, including weddings and major holiday celebrations,  means to seriously consider eating a full meal before attending. "Breaking bread" is not a deep rooted tradition for die-hard Dutch enthusiasts.

Experience, however, has given me the maturity to peacefully accept the fact that there will still be bad days. Weaver (1986) best describes the potential roller-coaster ride with culture-shock,  stating "If there is a medical or illness analogy for culture shock, the common cold is probably the best malady to consider. Like the common cold, there is no way to prevent culture shock and one can ‘catch it’ over and over again. "

On a more positive-note,  a more light hearted approach to perceiving culture shock is to embrace it as a natural, albeit painful and emotional, experience of intercultural learning and growth (Kracke, 2004). In fact, psychologists have been recently approaching culture shock as an essential part of adapting to a foreign culture, of coming to understand a different ways of living and of seeing the world that is profoundly unfamiliar from one’s own.

What does this mean for me? As of right now, I am taking the next eight months in the Netherlands as my personal time off (not to be confused with being on an extended vacation).  I am assessing my own strengths and weakness, my own interests and passions, and going through the painful and yet satisfying experience of critically realigning my own personal values and belief system. It is an experience in self-understanding and change. Trust me when I say that it is not easy.

(My first poffertjes, tiny fluffy Dutch pancakes, circa Fall 2006 visit)

For the first time in a long time, I can honestly comprehend why they call the current reality the present. Through all the trials, tribulations and heartache of being an expat in the Netherlands, each day is a blessing.  And with each passing day, we do grow.

How was your expat experience thus far? Is it different from mine? What were ways in which you coped with the culture shock? Do you have any personal suggestions with coping strategies that worked for you?

References:
1. Furnham, A. (1993). Communicating in foreign lands: the cause, consequences and cures of culture shock. Language Culture and Curriculum, 6 (1), pp. 91-109.
2.Kracke, W (2004). Culture Shock. International Encyclopedia of the Social & Behavioral Sciences,  Pages 3176-3179.
3. Oberg, K. (1960) Cultural shock: Adjustment to new cultural environments, Practical Anthropology.
4. Weaver, G. R. (1994). Understanding and coping with cross-cultural adjustment stress. In G. R. Weaver (Ed.), Culture, communication and conflict: Readings in intercultural relations (pp. 169–189). Needham Heights, MA: Ginn Press.