3 days of buses and weird poop policies

(endFEB2009) I am a very patient person.

Many who know me might disagree with this statement, but, not knowing me before my three-day bus excursion, they are quite wrong. Just see my impatience as it is now and imagine it to be a lot worse. This is how I got that way:

See, I had had the brilliant idea of saving money for a plane ticket by busing from Machu Picchu to Guayaquil, Ecuador. Now, before I did this, in my rash impatience and inability to not be spontaneous in decisions, I had not thought about exactly how long South American  bus rides could be... It took me three whole, wonderful days aboard three wonderful buses.

Now, the buses weren't bad, mind you. They were quite comfortable. The seats relaxed all the way, and a tv was situated every few feet. They even gave us blankets and little pillows.

The food? No vegetarian options, so I was also forced to be patient about eating. Which is very difficult.  I love to eat all of the time, and this situation was stretching my patience to the limit.  So, here I am, hardly able to sit in a car for more than an hour, nor able to resist eating for more than a few hours, finding myself on the Peruvian bus ride being forced to conquer my impatience with every bit of tranquility I can muster.

We had a total of three buses. The first two lasted 22 hours each, and one has to factor in the time we had to wait for the buses in between as well. 22 hours is a long time to sit on a bus, especially in a state of hunger. 

Also, to add to the fun, one was not allowed to take a number two on the bus, so, embarassingly, one had to ask the driver to pull over. (It might have been better for the party involved to hold the urge to go to the bathroom because the places that the driver stopped at were pretty disgusting, and not always in supply of toilet paper.) The driver would yell at the person to hurry up the entire time he could see them.

Thankfully, I never had that problem, seeing as how I couldn't eat the food, my intestines had nothing to digest.

There was, however, this delightful fellow behind me, who did smell as if he had just decided to deficate himself rather than ask the driver to pull over. That was a very pleasant smell to be subjected to for an entire day. Yes, a whole day of smelling poop. It was fantastic.

Through all of this, I did find some patience. I never complain or feel restless while sitting though hours-long car or plane rides. In fact, I welcome the fact that it is not a Peruvian bus ride that lasts for a whole day, and that I have the ability to take a dump if I want to. On a toilet. With toilet paper.