The Crew

Ed. Note: I sent this to all of these people for approval before publishing…that doesn’t mean they liked it…they just OKed it to be on the internet.

I figured you guys should know a little about the cast of most of my wonderful little adventures, so here they are!

Announcing the staff and students of CIEE Service-Learning in Santiago de los Caballeros, Dominican Republic:

Elaine Acacio Polo

The big boss lady, Elaine is also one of the professors for the CIEE program.  She does everything from make pesto to dealing with any questions we have about our organizations to keeping her daughter and/or dog from peeing on the balcony.  In her free time, she likes to think of games with deep hidden meanings that never work out the way she wants to, fail at telling jokes, and chew out any Dominicans that mistake her for being Chinese. (Ed. Note: Elaine totally didn’t like that I made fun of her failure at joke-telling, but I’m publishing it anyways. She knows I’m publishing and will probably give me an F on my next paper, but it’s my duty to tell the truth (please note the irony in this statement and yes I did just put parentheses in parentheses.  Completely legal.  I’ll do it again. (BOO YAH))!).

Marcos Polo

The only actual Dominican of the bunch, Marcos prides himself on being able to curse more than the rest of the group combined (not in front of the kids…ok, sometimes).  As the student coordinator, he often chastises us for being late to the excursions that he planned and pretends to hate every one of us.  He tries to steal things, but fails, and has promised the group Yogenfrüz but has yet to buy any for them.  He also makes a mean hot-wing.

Above: Elaine and Marcos's kiddies.  If I could spell their names correctly, I would.  Instead, let's call them Kid who likes to play airplane and Kid who likes to put everything she owns in her pockets.

Raphael Cerda

Above: Yeah, I've used this photo before. What of it? Is it my fault that there is only one photo of Raphael floating around the internet?

A world-famous guagua driver, Raphael is the master of keeping his bus spic and span.  He spit washes it every day, and likes to drive around PUCMM picking fights with Americans.  He is an annual competitor in the Santiago guagualympics, in which guagua drivers compete in various events.  He has won the last four years in river fjording (not fording, fjording), and is a favorite in the “don’t crash into that…oh snap…” event this year.

Martha Black

Above: Martha in her swim gear.  They're pretty conservative over here.

A veteran of the Dominican Republic, Martha is a proud member of the PUCMM swim team.  She recently met her goal of crossing the red bridge, and will often wink at anyone who comes into her line of sight.  Always the idealist, she originally wanted to come to Samaná with us via private jet, but instead opted to find someone with a yacht.  She enjoys chocolate donuts and Yogenfrüz.

Stephanie Carlson-Flynn

Above: Stephanie in full disguise next to Olivia in her creeper-be-gone turban.

Boston native and Ohio educated, Stephanie is famous in the Dominican Republic for her remakes of popular club songs.  She is currently living with Greg the amoeba, whom she most likely ingested in Alta Mira.  She enjoys putting a shirt over her face and putting sunglasses over the shirt.  This is her secret identity that she uses to ward off Dominican creepers.

Daniel Davis

Above: Dan giving birth in the countryside

The man with the plan, Dan is a walking Spanish dictionary.  While he might seem like he is being condescending, he actually is.  Don’t worry, he treats everybody equally.  It is with this skill set that he met his current lady friend.  They met over a plastic bowl of fruit in a Caribe Tours bus (this is where I was going to throw in: “it was love at first bite,” but that’s been overused in a lot of vampire references recently, so I didn’t).

Ashley Ditmer

Above: Ashley saw a shark. Ashley attacked the shark.  The shark tried to fight back.  The shark surrendered, and Ashley keeps it as a pet.

While she may seem innocent at first, Ashley is actually the bodyguard of the group.  She has thrice defeated Marcos in hand to hand combat and twice squeezed Yogenfrüz out of rocks.  In her free time, she likes hangin’ out at Square One writing in her journal, which is secretly a computer that she uses to prevent nuclear warfare in Southeast Asia.

Kristina Dukes

Above: Kristina was once a duck.  This is the in-between stage between duck and human face.

The youngest member of the CIEE squad, Kristina consistently keeps up with the rest by drinking Powerade and watching Carolina sports.  She is the only chemistry major of the team, and is secretly developing a pheromone for American women that forces men to desire only platonic relationships.  She also is a mean pelota player and likes to play underwater tag with Afro-man and company.

Olivia Powar

Above: Olivia about to be shot down by her host family.  Poor, poor aspiring cook...

A California girl to the very core (don’t ask me what that means, but she’s from there and likes it, which should justify the statement), Olivia has an orange dangly thing on her cell phone that no one else has and likes to make it known.  She also tends to be driven around in nice cars.  Her hobbies include offering to cook Indian food and being shot down, going to the beach, and dancing with random men at car washes.

Rachel Sonia

Above: Let's just say I'm sure Rachel will be thrilled to see this on my blog...

Rachel or “Raquel” is the woman who knows the ins and outs of Santiago.  She introduced the group to “lunes de jazz” and “froguitos,” and has a colmado named after her (Colmado Sonia).  A master of Creole (comparatively speaking of course), she has befriended many a Haitian, and is the third member of the three musketeers (Ashley, Dan, and Rachel). In her free time, she likes to pretend to be Harry Potter by wearing thick glasses and running around PUCMM with a broomstick.

Chris Vazquez

Above: They got tired of waiting for him to die of old age...so they buried him.  Result: angry but incapacitated Chris.

An old man, Mr. Vazquez has been spending most of his time in the D.R. eating prunes and playing dominoes.  In his free time, he likes exploring the jungle and taking pictures.  Do not let him near food, because if he sees it, he is able to absorb it through a process similar to osmosis.  Pizza has been wiped out on the island because of him.