SSL (Spanish as a Second Language)

Learning a new language is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. I feel like a fish out of water, a bird under water, or something equally unfathomable, uncomfortable and strange. Sitting in class and listening is now the easiest part of my days. Reading the texts still take twice as long as they would in English, but are becoming less strenuous. Speaking is a topic I do not wish to speak of… I have a new-found respect for all those who attempt to learn a new language. I think it is difficult to say with certainty that one language is more difficult than another (a debate for another time), the process is a challenging one, regardless.

As far as I can remember, I have never pursued anything to this extent that didn’t just come easily for me. In a way that feels good, to know I am not to be deterred simply because it poses a challenge and on the other hand: I struggle. I am not sure I know how to go about this trying-really-hard thing. I hope that doesn’t sound horrible. Perhaps that is just an excuse, a crutch I’m choosing to utilize during this extended moment of “choque cultural” of which I am undergoing almost all the symptoms; denial, avoidance, excessive use of English, stress and all the side-effects that come with that… Do not misunderstand me, I am still in LOVE with this experience, this city, this culture, this life! I was only hoping that by this time, I would feel surer of myself, of my capabilities. With my limited yet continually growing vocabulary, the tenses and conjugations that still boggle my mind, the everyday sayings that literally translate to nonsense but do mean something, Ay!

Well, as my classmates and I begin preparations for the essays due and exams approaching; 37 days and counting until the first semester crew leaves us year-longers behind for the frigid campuses of U of M, Cornell, Columbia, U Penn, I realize both how much work is ahead of me and how much is behind. I am excited and nervous, then surprised…and sad. How the time has flown! And, how the time has flown…