Top 5 Awkwardly Sexual Greek Souvenirs

Walking around the markets and streets of Athens, I'm always amazed by the things that people buy to take home as souvenirs. You have to wonder what some of these people are thinking. A particular Greek specialty seems to be the explicitly sexual souvenir. Everything from phallic bottle openers to anatomically enlarged ceramic statues are readily available for purchase.

In selecting the top five worst offenders, I had two important criteria. First, they obviously had to be awkwardly sexual. Second, they had to be mass-produced and sold in more than one tourist stall (no one of a kind works of art here!)

Now, in no particular order, the top five awkwardly sexual Greek souvenirs:

1)

Nothing says "I went to the birthplace of Western civilization" like a Greek Sex Instructor shirt. So classy, so direct. And what a deal! They're even offering the first lesson free!

2)

"Hi Mom, I'm traveling through Europe and I decided to write home on this post card of a half-man/half-goat with an enormous member. Aren't you so proud that you raised a son like me?"

3)

What happens if you love that half-man/half-goat so much that a postcard isn't enough? No fear, you can drink a bottle of ouzo out of his body!

4) Greek Lovers Calendar 2010- This baby is too hot for Glimpse. Every month, surprise yourself and your loved ones with a scene from ancient Greek pottery. I've looked through this, and trust me, these guys are doing things that boggle the mind.

5) Finally, why not purchase a concrete frieze to hang on your wall? The most popular design seems to be the one where a Greek man is graphically demonstrating what it means to "go in the out door." I can't even imagine how impressed your guests will be when they see this hanging over your mantle! 

Comments

Posted on 11/10/2009 by

Shilpa Jindia

Hilarious.

Posted on 11/12/2009 by

Kyle Goodall

hahahahah, GREAT article! The most professional piece of sexual literature I have read.

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