Czeching my reflection...

The three  month mark has come and gone. Looking back, I realize that I've pretty much accomplished what I set out to do: get out of my comfort zone and get comfortable with it.

On June 1, 2009 I said goodbye to family and friends, a guy I've spent the last seven years of my life with and home – a place I’d come to both love and loathe. I was venturing out alone, scared as shit but too proud to admit it… or too scared to admit it because if I did, I would have lost the game. I would have taken myself off the field and sat my ass right on the bench, watching my life happen the way someone else wished it to.

After being on that plane for 14 hours, I was numb… Not only because I was literally stuck between a window and a large man I didn’t care to bother as he slept so somberly with his hairy arm on MY armrest… I was numb because my mind was blank; I still couldn’t really believe what I had just done.

I got to Prague and for the first few days I slept and cried, questioned why I came and why I would make myself stay. My first trip to the grocery store was a near nightmare lasting a solid hour. Pretty sure I emerged in a cold sweat with just a carton of milk and a box of cereal. Everything was in Czech… I couldn’t tell the yogurt from the butter from the cheese. I took the metro to work for the first few weeks – unlike the tram which required a switch, this was a straight shot, eliminating the likely possibility of my getting lost.

Time went on. I allowed myself to be scared, self-conscious and doubtful. But I forced myself to do whatever it was I was scared, self-conscious and doubtful about anyway.

Funny thing is that with each comfort zone boundary I break, a new one appears. I’m not so sure this linear progression of challenge and defeat is one that will ever disappear. But with this experience I’ve learned that I’m far more capable than I thought I was when I left and probably than I think I am now. 

In a few days, I’ll be back home, cherishing all of the sweetest things I miss and laughing about all of the things I don’t. I’ll get lost – in moments and emotions and people. And I’ll welcome it.

A few short weeks will pass and I’ll get on that plane back to Prague to finish up my now one year commitment… but my mind won’t be so blank nor my heart so full of fear. Instead, I’ll be preparing to break new boundaries and discover new stories for Part II of the Prague Blog. 

(What a lame way to end a post, but hey, sometimes cliches are appropriate! I guess in other words, “I’ll be back” or “We’ll be back after these short messages” or “Until we meet again” or…)

Comments

Posted on 9/29/2009 by

Beth Mitchell

Can't wait to see you and hear about all your experiences becasue as I've said before, many of us not so fortunate are living vicariously through you!

Posted on 9/29/2009 by

Mary Smith

AMY S (dot) is all grown up!!!!

Post a Comment

• Email
• Password
• Comment

Login & Post Comment